


Distantly-Remembered Happiness

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-03-05
Updated: 2004-03-05
Packaged: 2019-05-30 22:37:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15106232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Danny and Ben commiserate and Danny makes a decision





	Distantly-Remembered Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Distantly-Remembered Happiness

**Distantly-Remembered Happiness**

**by:** soft lite

**Character(s):** Josh, Ben, Danny, Carol, Gail, and CJ  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Ben, CJ/Danny  
**Category(s):** Romance   
**Rating:** PG  
**Disclaimer:** Characters from "The West Wing" are not mine.  
**Summary:** Danny and Ben commiserate and Danny makes a decision  
**Spoiler:** Season 5 through "The Warfare of Genghis Khan"  


Danny Concannon walked towards the lobby at a leisurely pace, stopping to greet many people along the way. It was his first day back after many months away. He'd checked in with Carol, who informed him CJ was in a meeting and the first briefing would be in about two hours. That was when he'd decided to take a stroll. Maybe around the block. Maybe get some good coffee. 

Danny noticed that unlike most of the people around, he was walking quite slowly. He hadn't really been aware of this until he reached the lobby and realized the guy leaving in front of him was the only other person going so slowly. He must be going out for a stroll, too, Danny mused. But to Danny's surprise, after he passed through the gate, the guy in front of him seemed to collapse. Danny took a few quick strides to his side and knelt, "Hey, are you okay?" 

"Yeah. No. I mean, I'm not sick or anything. My girlfriend just dumped me." 

Danny didn't even think of the obvious questions a White House reporter might ask. Instead, he gestured across the street and said, "There's a place to get coffee over there. I was just headed there myself. You look like you could use some caffeine, sugar, and a good chair. Let me buy you a cup of coffee?" 

"Thanks," the stranger agreed, taking the hand Danny offered and standing up. The two men crossed the street and walked down the block and into the coffee shop in silence. After ordering, the stranger offered, "Thanks again. I do really need some caffeine. By the way, my name's Ben." 

"Danny. Good to meet you, Ben." 

"And you, Danny. It's been a hell of a week. I took a week's vacation to come here from Alaska to try to reconcile with my girlfriend. The first two days she managed to avoid me completely. Then yesterday in each of the brief conversations we had, she told me she didn't want to date me and listed reasons why we couldn't be together." 

"Like you live in Alaska?" 

"Believe me, that was the least painful one to hear. I knew that when we lived together, we drove each other crazy - I mean, that's why we broke up, we got on each others' nerves - but I thought she'd be willing to try again." 

"It sounds like you care for her a lot." 

"Well, yeah. I mean she's gorgeous and sexy and... skilled. Have you ever met a woman who was everything you wanted?" 

Danny sighed, "Oh yeah. I'm in love with a woman who's beautiful and smart and funny and graceful and kind and generous and confident and modest and independent." Danny stopped, took in a long breath and let it out slowly. "Did I mention stunningly beautiful?" 

Ben smiled. "So you're not together." 

Sadly, Danny shook his head. After a moment, his brow furrowed and he looked up at Ben, "You didn't mention, are you in love with her?" Immediately Danny could tell from the expression on Ben's face that he had stepped into a minefield. 

"And that brings us to today. I don't believe in love, and I didn't think she did, either. I mean, she's never mentioned love before. But today she announced she wasn't in love with me, she's in love with someone else. I mean, I thought she was joking because she's never mentioned love before." After a pause, Ben shrugged and admitted, "So I made fun of her." 

Danny winced. "Wrong thing to do." 

"Yeah. Big time. I guess I should have known she'd change a lot in ten years - obviously she has since she's no longer averse to having a pet - but I never thought she'd fall in love." 

"Maybe she just met the right guy." 

"I guess. He sounds like Mr. Perfect - pretty much everything you said except handsome instead of beautiful." Ben shook his head in disbelief. "And she said something about he has a way with words." 

"Hey Danny!" 

Danny looked past Ben at the door to see Josh approaching, and he stood up, extending his hand, "Josh, good to see you!" 

"Sorry I missed you at the White House. CJ's had a rough couple of days and needed to talk. Afterwards I heard you'd been around and thought you might come here." 

Danny gestured towards Ben, "Josh, this is Ben." 

Before Danny could complete the introduction, Josh interrupted, "Ben, hey, how're you doing? I'm sorry, I didn't notice you there - it's been months since I've seen Danny." 

"That's okay, Josh, I'm a little surprised you recognized me since we just met for about a minute yesterday." 

"Yeah, well, I'm good with faces. And CJ's a very private person, so don't take it personally that she didn't want you spending lots of time talking to folks at work. She's probably afraid you'd tell us all sorts of embarrassing college stories." Josh looked from one man to the other, "Is that why you and Danny are talking?" 

As Josh spoke, Danny realized that he and Ben had been commiserating about the same woman, "Josh, shut up." 

"What's wrong?" Josh asked, noticing Danny looked worried. 

Danny and Ben stared at each other intensely for a minute before Ben asked, "Is she in love with you?" 

Sadly, Danny shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'm a reporter. So we both know that for three years, nothing can happen." Dejectedly, Danny sat down. 

Ben nodded thoughtfully as he sat. "So it's you. At least I feel better knowing that you're a nice guy." 

Josh pulled up a chair, chuckling. "You've known Danny for what, 10 minutes?" 

"And in that time he stopped to help me when I fell down, offered to buy me a cup of coffee, and was understanding as he listened to me pour my heart out." Ben sighed. "Plus, if even half of what she told me about him is true, he's a saint." 

Now Danny laughed, "I'm certainly not a saint." 

"You've waited four years for her? Even though she's given you no promises?" Ben asked. Danny nodded. "You're planning to wait three more?" Danny nodded again. "You're a pretty special guy. I'm glad she's found you." 

The three men sat silently for a few minutes, drinking their coffee. Finally Ben broke the hush, "Josh, you said she's pretty upset?" 

"Yeah. No offense intended, but you rattled her pretty well. I think she generally spends the few minutes that she doesn't need to be working, trying very hard not to think about her personal life, or lack thereof." Josh played with his napkin. "You know, I never understood before how it was that every time you called, she so genuinely looked like she had no idea who Carol was talking about." 

"That would be because she hasn't spent a minute thinking about me since we last broke up, over ten years ago, and as soon as she's had me put on hold, she forgets about me." 

Josh pursed him lips, "That wasn't really what I meant, and I don't think it's entirely true, either." Now both men looked like they were interested but trying not to look like they were interested. "Toby told me that when he acted offended that she'd never mentioned you to him, she took a minute to tell him about you. He said she had that look of distantly-remembered happiness, along with what he thought was remorse for something that was never to be again." 

Ben slowly nodded, "That's better than I'd feared. I wish she could be happy now. Part of the reason I started calling her last summer is that she's looked so sad. I thought I could make her happy again. And, of course, that she could do the same for me." Ben pushed his coffee cup away. "Danny, my plane leaves in about six hours. I would feel much easier about it if you could make her happy." 

"Well, I'd love to, but she won't let me," Danny replied dismissively. 

"I understand about the dating thing. But she thinks you're funny. Couldn't you just make her smile sometimes?" 

Danny's eyes lost focus as he remembered how amazing she'd looked when he gave her Gail. In a hushed voice, "A few years ago, I gave her a goldfish. She looked so incredible when she laughed." 

"Well, that explains the pet - you obviously didn't know her very well at that time." 

"True." 

"Plus I accidentally misled him to think that she wanted a goldfish," Josh offered in a halting voice. "She's very attached to that fish now." 

"Yeah, I found that out when I made a wise crack about it," Ben admitted. All three men laughed. "Just go back and joke around with her whenever she has time. Every now and then get her to crack a smile during a briefing so I'll know you're doing what I asked." 

Danny and Josh exchanged uneasy glances. "Um, I... ." Danny stopped. 

"Danny's been here only a few weeks in the past three years," Josh supplied. 

"Yeah. No wonder she looks so sad," Ben accused. "It may be easier for you to be away, but I think it's easier for her if you're here." 

Danny absorbed this in a long moment of silence. "If I were sure it would be easier for her, I'd stay." 

"Ask her," suggested Josh. The three men looked at one another until Danny nodded. 

\--- 

"Any more questions?" CJ asked at the end of her briefing two hours later. 

Danny had not gone into the briefing. Instead, he'd stayed back by the door, close enough to hear in case there was anything important he needed to note, but far enough back that CJ hadn't seen him. Now, though, when no one was asking questions, Danny stepped forward out of the dark corner and called, "CJ!" 

At the sound of the familiar and too-long missing voice, CJ couldn't help smiling as she turned her head, "Our long-lost Senior Correspondent!" 

Danny couldn't keep from broadening his grin and hoping that Ben was watching. "CJ, there's a story out today saying that the unusual snow melting patterns on the White House grounds are caused by UFOs that have been visiting here." 

As everyone in the room chuckled, CJ asked, "Whose story is that?" 

"The Enquirer." 

"No comment." 

"Okay." 

"That's all for now folks, but tune in again after lunch for even more fun," CJ announced as she closed her folder and left. 

Almost immediately there were crowds of people between them, so Danny waited patiently, then followed in their wake to CJ's office, "Carol." 

"Hey Danny, twice in one day!" 

"Yeah. Can I see her?" 

Carol looked uneasily at the closed door, "I don't know, Danny. I'll ask. But I'll tell you she's a little off today. It can't wait?" 

"No." 

"Okay, give me a minute." Carol picked up a pair of folders, knocked on the door, and went in, shutting the door behind her. "CJ, here are the reports you wanted, and Danny's outside. He'd like a couple minutes." 

Shuffling through phone messages, CJ asked without looking up, "To ask more questions about UFOs?" When Carol didn't answer, CJ dropped the pile of messages and sighed. "Yeah, okay." 

Carol smiled brightly as she went out. "Danny, you can go on in." 

"Thanks, Carol," Danny smiled, went in the office, and closed the door. CJ was standing with her back to him, arms crossed over her stomach, staring out the window. "Hi CJ." Danny decided to heed Carol's warning and tread lightly until he knew what he was dealing with. 

Slowly CJ turned around, and a smile grew on her lips. "Hey Danny. Please tell me you're not here to ask more questions about UFOs." 

Danny laughed, "No." 

"Good. Where on earth did that come from?" 

"Well, I told you, the Enquirer. Though I doubt they'd say it was from earth." 

CJ's smile grew into a grin and she laughed a little as she held out a hand indicating he should sit down, and she sat at her desk. "So what did you want?" 

"I already got it." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I came to see you smile and laugh." 

CJ's smile faded slowly as she took a moment to consider Danny's words. When the smile was completely gone, she asked "Does that mean you're leaving on another assignment now?" 

"I haven't made plans," Danny answered honestly. "Would you rather I stay?" 

CJ leaned back in her chair and ran her fingers through her hair. "Danny, you need to do what you need to do. Nothing has changed between us." 

Danny waited until she was looking him directly in the eye, "CJ, I know there can't be anything between us for three more years. I accept that. What you need to accept is that I'm in love with you, and I'm going to wait for you, and in three years, we are going to talk about this. No matter what happens between now and then. What I need you to tell me now is whether it will be easier for us to stay like this if I'm here or away." 

CJ continued staring steadily into Danny's eyes, considering his words. After what seemed like an eternity to Danny, CJ softly said, "Stay. Please." 

Danny smiled. "Okay." 

Before either of them could say any more, there was a knock and Carol opened the door. "CJ, you've got Senior Staff right now." 

"Right," agreed CJ, picking up her folder. "Danny's going to talk to Gail for a few minutes, Carol," CJ added as she walked out the door. 

After both of them were out of sight, Danny leaned down a bit to watch Gail shake her fins and then swim around to look at him. "Guess I'll be seeing you most days from now on, Gail." 

\--- 

After the Senior Staff meeting, Josh followed CJ back to her office, where they found Danny with his finger in the fishbowl. CJ flicked him gently on the back of the head as she passed him. "What are you doing to my fish?" 

"Letting her kiss my finger. She remembers what I taste like," Danny answered as he removed his finger and shook it dry. 

"Well, so do I, but I wouldn't appreciate you sticking your finger in my face," CJ commented as she was writing. 

Josh waved his arms, "Whoa, whoa, whoa - way too much information!" 

CJ looked up with a big grin from the note she was writing. "That's not what I meant, Josh." 

Josh breathed a sigh of relief and flopped down in a chair. "So how much did you guys have a chance to talk before the meeting?" 

CJ's eyes narrowed. "Why do you ask?" 

Josh did his best to look innocent. "Well, you mentioned at the meeting that Danny said he might stay around for a while." 

Danny cut in, "Why don't we all just be very honest about this? It'll be easier that way." Danny turned from Josh to CJ, "I ran into Ben as he was leaving the White House and we had a cup of coffee together. After a few minutes, Josh came to join us, and... ." Danny shrugged. "He seems like a nice guy. He's probably getting ready to head to the airport right now. He suggested that I should try to make you laugh." 

"That's why you asked about the UFOs?" 

"Yeah, I figured he was probably watching CNN." 

"So you were going to try to get me to laugh once and then leave?" 

"No, I told you I didn't have any plans. I didn't. I hadn't decided how long I'd stay in town. And Josh suggested that I should just flat out ask you if you'd prefer I stay or go - I can do my job perfectly well either way." 

"I know you can." As Danny and CJ stared at each other in silence, Josh looked back and forth between them. After a moment, CJ broke the hush. "You've stayed away because you prefer being away." It was a statement, not a question. 

"If my only option here is being smacked on the back of the head and made fun of during briefings and not called in for exclusives, then, yeah, I'd prefer to be away. But if you'd prefer I stay, I will. I can do my job despite all that stuff." 

CJ looked deflated. "I could try to be nicer. Most of the time." 

Josh amended, "But when Leo skulks like a predator at the back of the press room, it's usually because he thinks CJ's been too nice to you... ." Josh stopped talking to catch the stapler CJ had thrown at him. 

"Joshua! Have you learned nothing about the kinds of things you should never say to a member of the press?" 

Danny held up his hands in surrender. "I didn't hear a thing, and I really should be going. I think we've aired out enough for now." When Danny reached the door, he turned and offered, "CJ, I hope that some of your happiness is not-too-distantly remembered," as he opened the door, turned, and went back to the press room. 


End file.
